Six modules engineered from the ground up to industrialize toxicity, performative wellness, and surveillance — while looking great on a sales deck.
Operationalize psychological warfare. Schedule meetings titled "quick chat" with no agenda, withhold context until 9:01 PM Friday, and rotate vague feedback ("you need more impact") on a quarterly basis to ensure no one ever feels safe.
Presence is performance. AlwaysOnline turns the green dot into a productivity gospel — pinging laptops every 12 seconds, logging keyboard idleness, and triggering "are you ok?" DMs the moment you stop typing.
| Idle time | Manager action |
|---|---|
| 2 min | Concerned emoji |
| 5 min | "Quick chat?" DM |
| 15 min | Calendar invite, no agenda |
| 1 hr | "Engagement concern" filed |
| 1 day | PIP draft auto-generated |
Forget nothing. MemoryVault™ silently transcribes every meeting, indexes every Slack reaction, and keeps a permanent dossier of every "in confidence" comment — ready to be surfaced 18 months later in a performance review.
Publish 47 progressive policies — unlimited PTO, mental health days, flexible hours, a "speak up" hotline — and let our retaliation engine quietly punish anyone naive enough to use them. Comes with beautiful PDFs.
*Using any of these may result in a "values alignment" conversation.
You shipped the project. The Senior Zebra shipped the narrative. Our credit engine automatically reattributes outcomes to leadership, "the AI," or "the team" — depending on who's in the room. You'll be told you should've been "more strategic."
Before: "Emp_47 designed, built, and launched the new portal in 6 weeks."
After: "Under Senior Zebra leadership and with significant AI assistance, the portal was delivered. Emp_47 contributed."
The flagship. Convert any reasonable employee request — work-life balance, a quieter desk, a fair workload — into a 6-month "supportive investigation" featuring 14 interviews, 3 "neutral" mediators, and exactly zero outcomes.